Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Randomize
