Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
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I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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