he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
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