I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Randomize
