this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Randomize
