I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
