Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
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