did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Randomize
