Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
