Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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