look no pants
When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
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