i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
is that a dick in a sweater?
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
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