Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
