6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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