omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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