Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize