Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
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