My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
