i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
