Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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