I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
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