Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize
