The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
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