Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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