Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Randomize
