Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
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