Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
