We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
