Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
