This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
