You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
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