the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Randomize
