Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
