I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
