So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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