Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
