I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I feel like a drive thru vagina
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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