cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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