the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
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