So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
His hands were made for my vagina.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
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