But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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