I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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