you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
