I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
