Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
