I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Randomize
