everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Never underestimate the power of titties
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
