my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
