Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Randomize
