Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
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