I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Randomize