Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
