i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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