It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
