Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Randomize
