Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Randomize
