you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
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