oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
