I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Randomize
