When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
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