We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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