Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As shirtless as possible
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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