Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Randomize
