I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize