Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
